Posts Tagged ‘religion’

Sick Keyboards


*Up to 25% of hospital keyboards carry the MSRA infection.

*In ancient Greece,children of wealthy families were dipped in olive oil at birth to keep them hairless throughout their lives.

*Ghandi didn´t allow his wife to take pennicilin to save her life from pneumonia but took quinnine to save himself from malaria.

*Prostitutes in Roman times charged the equivalent price of 8 glasses of red wine.

*More than 90% of plane crashes have survivors.

*The Mona Lisa used to hang on the wall of Napoleon´s bedroom.

*Eating a packet of crisps a day is the equivalent to drinking five litres of cooking oil a year.

*The Himalayas cover one tenth of the Earth´s surface.

*Every drop of seawater contains approximately one billion gold atoms.

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Noah’s Lucifer Dove

In the Russian press circulating the story of a strange fossil that was revived and killed his liberator. Is it a bird from Noah’s Ark or something completely different?
In the Russian press has recently showed up article that has caused different. The story begins in August, 2008 in Yerevan (Armenia), during the inspection of metro tunnel engineer Levon Abadzan found in rocks an object that resembles model of the aircraft. Gimcrack was just a little sticking out from the gneiss, which was buried, and Levon was trying to take away with the help of tools that he had. In the end he took the whole piece of plate rock and took it home, where he gently released the subject from shell. “Then he saw that it is not some kind of aircraft, but rather a metallized remains of creature that looks like a bird sized pigeon, but toothed. Because the fossil was found in gneiss, millions of years old, Levon Abadzan assumed that given fossil is distant ancestor of today’s birds, and that the metallic glint is a result of chemical reactions. Engineer assumed that his discovery has great scientific value and also on the market. To better cash out ‘dove’, he decided to photograph bird and sell it on the Internet auction, and an ideal environment for ‘photographing’ was near his house in the suburbs, the greenery, with a view to the sky and Ararat. He brought bird in the garden and put it among the bushes. He made dozens of recordings and photographs. The sun on bird looked very effectively, but reflection hindered him to get a quality photos – Levon was inexperienced photographer. Finishing the job, he returned the fossil in the house, he noticed that the bird is very warm on touch. He concluded that it was warm because of sun rays and placed the dove in hard and massive deep shelve for books. More than three hours Abadzan was processing in computer program images of bird, he probably wanted to get good photos of all parts of the fossils. Then with E-mail he sent photos to the museums and institutions whose addresses found on the Internet. After two days he received the response from Professor Timothy Sharp, curator of the British Museum (that is, at least, presented in the letter). Sharp, they say, has announced that he will come in Yerevan to see the discovery, in the meantime, advised, artifact should be kept in a dark place and in any case does not expose it to the sun. They exchanged phone numbers, but Abedzan pleased Sharp to don’t talk much about the well-discovery, because probably the state will claim right on it. The same day, Abadzan got another letter, in which scientific assistant at the Biblical Research Institute of Modest (USA), George Schwartz, said that he would love to see photograph of the entire bird, not just individual parts. Abadzan responded that he’ll show the complete picture for a certain amount. From the Biblical Institute were sent new, but interesting document, which included copies of medieval manuscripts, about Noah’s pigeons – birds that the biblical figure sent from the deck of his Ark to investigate are they close to the fertile land. Actually, this story is a reflection of many anciently stories about Lucifer, fallen angel who, before he was overthrown, sent his servants in the form of birds in the same goal – to find appropriate land. Attached picture was drawn toothed bird, which is not much looks like Abadzan’s discovery, but the engineer thought the existence of legends can only heighten the price of artifact. Not wanting to reveal his place of residence, he decided that a meeting with Professor Sharp not maintain at home, but in his parents house , in the village. He packed the bird and noticed that it was still warm, although she was all night on the shelf within the books. Bird even changed the pose – which was obvious in comparison with the photographs. Package ‘dove’ he laid on the back seat of the car and went on the road. Two hours later, his “Lada Niva” was found at the edge of the road. Levon’s body with traces of deep burns was situated a few steps further. No trace of bird … Levon’s brother, Yuri Abadzan considered that engineer was a victim of criminals: naively assuming that the Internet makes him invisible, Levon didn’t took into observation that is relatively easy to get the IP address and find anyone. Generally, Yuri concluded that his brother was intercepted on the road and the bird was stolen. George Schwartz think differently. He is convinced that Abadzan actually found Noah’s pigeon, or sleeping demon, servant of Lucifer. That under the influence of the sun’s rays demon awoke and killed his liberator.

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The Real Story Of Thanksgiving

thanksgiving


by Susan Bates

Most of us associate the holiday with happy Pilgrims and Indians sitting down to a big feast.  And that did happen – once.

The story began in 1614 when a band of English explorers sailed home to  England with a ship full of Patuxet Indians bound for slavery. They left behind smallpox which virtually wiped out those who had escaped.  By the time the Pilgrims arrived in Massachusetts Bay they found only one living Patuxet Indian, a man named Squanto who had survived slavery in England and knew their language.  He taught them to grow corn and to fish, and negotiated a peace treaty between the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag Nation. At the end of their first year, the Pilgrims held a great feast honoring Squanto and the Wampanoags.

But as word spread in England about the paradise to be found in the new world, religious zealots called Puritans began arriving by the boat load. Finding no fences around the land, they considered it to be in the public domain. Joined by other British settlers, they seized land, capturing strong young Natives for slaves and killing the rest.  But the Pequot Nation had not agreed to the peace treaty Squanto had negotiated and they fought back. The Pequot War was one of the bloodiest Indian wars ever fought.

In 1637 near present day  Groton, Connecticut, over 700 men, women and children of the Pequot Tribe had gathered for their annual Green Corn Festival which is our Thanksgiving celebration. In the predawn hours the sleeping Indians were surrounded by English and Dutch mercenaries who ordered them to come outside.  Those who came out were shot or clubbed to death while the terrified women and children who huddled inside the longhouse were burned alive. The next day the governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony declared “A Day Of Thanksgiving” because 700 unarmed men, women and children had been murdered.

Cheered by their “victory”, the brave colonists and their Indian allies attacked village after village. Women and children over 14 were sold into slavery while the rest were murdered.  Boats loaded with a many as 500 slaves regularly left the ports of New England. Bounties were paid for Indian scalps to encourage as many deaths as possible.

Following an especially successful raid against the Pequot in what is now  Stamford, Connecticut, the churches announced a second day of “thanksgiving” to celebrate victory over the heathen savages.  During the feasting, the hacked off heads of Natives were kicked through the streets like soccer balls.  Even the friendly Wampanoag did not escape the madness. Their chief was beheaded, and his head impaled on a pole in Plymouth, Massachusetts — where it remained on display for 24 years.

The killings became more and more frenzied, with days of thanksgiving feasts being held after each successful massacre. George Washington finally suggested that only one day of Thanksgiving per year be set aside instead of celebrating each and every massacre. Later Abraham Lincoln decreed Thanksgiving Day to be a legal national holiday during the Civil War — on the same day he ordered troops to march against the starving Sioux in Minnesota.

This story doesn’t have quite the same fuzzy feelings associated with it as the one where the Indians and Pilgrims are all sitting down together at the big feast.  But we need to learn our true history so it won’t ever be repeated.  Next  Thanksgiving, when you gather with your loved ones to Thank God for all your blessings, think about those people who only wanted to live their lives and raise their families.  They, also took time out to say “thank you” to Creator for all their blessings.

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COUNTRY CEMETERY

preacher

As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a
grave-side service for a homeless man, with no family or friends.
The funeral was to be held at a cemetery way back in the country, and
this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost;
and being a typical man did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an
hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew, who was eating lunch, but the
hearse was nowhere in sight. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and stepped to the side of the open grave, where I saw the vault
lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them up for
long, but this was the proper thing to do.

The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I poured out my heart and soul. As I preached the workers began to say “Amen,”
“Praise the Lord,” and “Glory”! I preached, and I preached,
like I’d never preached before: from Genesis all the way to Revelations.
I closed the lengthy service with a prayer and walked to my car.
As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of
the workers saying to another, “I ain’t never seen anything like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

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Amazingly Simple Home Remedies


1. IF YOU’RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING ice cubeWATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS ABOUT THE TOILET SEAT – USE THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER – EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES – NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.




An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, ‘Someone in this congregation preacherhas spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian Family.’

No one moved.

The preacher continued, ‘Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now, stand and confess your transgression.’

Again, all was quiet.

Then, slowly, a drop dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic, rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke,

‘Reverend, there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets.’

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.

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Klingon Bible

Singer Billy Joel tried to commit suicide when he was 21 by drinking furniture polish.


The largest fish in the world is the whale shark. It can weigh several tons and grow to more than fifty feet in length.

camel

The world camel population is close to 19 million.


The word “Denim” comes from the French phrase “serge de Nimes” which is a fabric made in a town located in southern France.


February 17th, 1930, was the first flight by a cow in an airplane. The milk that was produced by the cow during the flight was put into containers and parachuted over the city of St. Louis.


The most popular gift that teachers receive in the United States from their students is chocolate.


The Bible has been translated into Klingon.


Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.


Stewardesses is one of the longest words typed with only the left hand.


If a lobster loses an eye or a claw it can usually grow a new one.


The name for the sign “&” which represents the world “and” is ampersand.


The Eiffel Tower weight is approximately 9441 tons.


The fastest bird in the world is the Peregrine Falcon, which can reach speedsn excess of two hundred miles per hour.

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